Anxiety sucks!
You know what sucks? Monday disguised as Tuesday! While I have to say I enjoyed the long weekend going back to work still sucks regardless of the day.
A long time ago, when I was 19, I was diagnosed with a Mitral Valve Prolapse. Basically it means your heart valve doesn’t close all the way to stop the flow of blood to your heart. With this can come anxiety. For years I took medication to help my heart and my anxiety. Well last year I went to a cardiologist who ran a bunch of tests and decided my valve wasn’t bad enough to meet the new MVP standards. What does that mean you ask? I had no idea. Finally my GP explained it meant I no longer needed any medication. Over the course of a few months last year I finally managed to stop taking any meds. Honestly I wasn’t sure how it would go but since I knew Matt and I would be considering children soon it made sense and really I was ready.
Over the past few months I’ve only had a few instances where I started to feel anxious. The doc gave me something I could take if I ever had an attack that I didn’t feel I could control. I think I’ve done a really good job of trying not to take anything. For the most part I do pretty well at getting myself through them. Today was not one of those days. As I was sitting at work this afternoon I started to feel my chest tighten up. I could feel my heart beating and I felt as though I couldn’t breathe, like a weigh on my chest. It was nothing too bad but I just couldn’t shake it.
I’m not really sure what brought it on. It could have been the Zyrtec I took at lunch. I haven’t taken any in a while and the psedu stuff can get me sometimes. Needless to say that after feeling like this for a few hours I had to come home and take something. Now I’m just sitting on the couch listening to music waiting for things to get back to normal.
~k