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  • It’s been about a year

    January 24, 2012 /

    Since I got off my anxiety meds.  I think it was around this time last year that I cut the ties and decided to face my anxiety head on.  I was thinking about what I could write and I was pretty sure I had written about stopping before.  Well lo and behold I did write a post about my anxiety about 6 or 7 months ago.  Shockingly it was pretty much exactly what I was going to say again.  {Glad I found it.}

    Anyway I’m pretty sure January is the one year mark and I must say I think I’m doing really well.  Sure I’ve had a few episodes but for the most part I rarely even think about it now.  {YAY me!}

    What really made me think of this is the doctor who helped me.  I feel like she gave me the encouragement I needed to stop or even to try to stop.  This very same doctor has also gone MIA.  I saw her a few weeks ago, she ordered some labs, and now I can’t find her.  Thankfully it was nothing too important but still, I paid for a service and she hasn’t honored her end.  I’m not sure what’s next.  I’ve never really had a doctor up and disappear.

    ~k

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  • Anxiety sucks!

    July 5, 2011 /

    You know what sucks?  Monday disguised as Tuesday!  While I have to say I enjoyed the long weekend going back to work still sucks regardless of the day.

    A long time ago, when I was 19, I was diagnosed with a Mitral Valve Prolapse.  Basically it means your heart valve doesn’t close all the way to stop the flow of blood to your heart.  With this can come anxiety.  For years I took medication to help my heart and my anxiety.  Well last year I went to a cardiologist who ran a bunch of tests and decided my valve wasn’t bad enough to meet the new MVP standards.  What does that mean you ask?  I had no idea.  Finally my GP explained it meant I no longer needed any medication.  Over the course of a few months last year I finally managed to stop taking any meds.  Honestly I wasn’t sure how it would go but since I knew Matt and I would be considering children soon it made sense and really I was ready.

    Over the past few months I’ve only had a few instances where I started to feel anxious.  The doc gave me something I could take if I ever had an attack that I didn’t feel I could control.  I think I’ve done a really good job of trying not to take anything.  For the most part I do pretty well at getting myself through them.  Today was not one of those days.  As I was sitting at work this afternoon I started to feel my chest tighten up.  I could feel my heart beating and I felt as though I couldn’t breathe, like a weigh on my chest.  It was nothing too bad but I just couldn’t shake it.

    I’m not really sure what brought it on.  It could have been the Zyrtec I took at lunch.  I haven’t taken any in a while and the psedu stuff can get me sometimes.  Needless to say that after feeling like this for a few hours I had to come home and take something.  Now I’m just sitting on the couch listening to music waiting for things to get back to normal.

    ~k

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