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It’s been about a year
Since I got off my anxiety meds. I think it was around this time last year that I cut the ties and decided to face my anxiety head on. I was thinking about what I could write and I was pretty sure I had written about stopping before. Well lo and behold I did write a post about my anxiety about 6 or 7 months ago. Shockingly it was pretty much exactly what I was going to say again. {Glad I found it.}
Anyway I’m pretty sure January is the one year mark and I must say I think I’m doing really well. Sure I’ve had a few episodes but for the most part I rarely even think about it now. {YAY me!}
What really made me think of this is the doctor who helped me. I feel like she gave me the encouragement I needed to stop or even to try to stop. This very same doctor has also gone MIA. I saw her a few weeks ago, she ordered some labs, and now I can’t find her. Thankfully it was nothing too important but still, I paid for a service and she hasn’t honored her end. I’m not sure what’s next. I’ve never really had a doctor up and disappear.
~k
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Anxiety sucks!
You know what sucks? Monday disguised as Tuesday! While I have to say I enjoyed the long weekend going back to work still sucks regardless of the day.
A long time ago, when I was 19, I was diagnosed with a Mitral Valve Prolapse. Basically it means your heart valve doesn’t close all the way to stop the flow of blood to your heart. With this can come anxiety. For years I took medication to help my heart and my anxiety. Well last year I went to a cardiologist who ran a bunch of tests and decided my valve wasn’t bad enough to meet the new MVP standards. What does that mean you ask? I had no idea. Finally my GP explained it meant I no longer needed any medication. Over the course of a few months last year I finally managed to stop taking any meds. Honestly I wasn’t sure how it would go but since I knew Matt and I would be considering children soon it made sense and really I was ready.
Over the past few months I’ve only had a few instances where I started to feel anxious. The doc gave me something I could take if I ever had an attack that I didn’t feel I could control. I think I’ve done a really good job of trying not to take anything. For the most part I do pretty well at getting myself through them. Today was not one of those days. As I was sitting at work this afternoon I started to feel my chest tighten up. I could feel my heart beating and I felt as though I couldn’t breathe, like a weigh on my chest. It was nothing too bad but I just couldn’t shake it.
I’m not really sure what brought it on. It could have been the Zyrtec I took at lunch. I haven’t taken any in a while and the psedu stuff can get me sometimes. Needless to say that after feeling like this for a few hours I had to come home and take something. Now I’m just sitting on the couch listening to music waiting for things to get back to normal.
~k