Anxiety sucks!

You know what sucks?  Monday disguised as Tuesday!  While I have to say I enjoyed the long weekend going back to work still sucks regardless of the day.

A long time ago, when I was 19, I was diagnosed with a Mitral Valve Prolapse.  Basically it means your heart valve doesn’t close all the way to stop the flow of blood to your heart.  With this can come anxiety.  For years I took medication to help my heart and my anxiety.  Well last year I went to a cardiologist who ran a bunch of tests and decided my valve wasn’t bad enough to meet the new MVP standards.  What does that mean you ask?  I had no idea.  Finally my GP explained it meant I no longer needed any medication.  Over the course of a few months last year I finally managed to stop taking any meds.  Honestly I wasn’t sure how it would go but since I knew Matt and I would be considering children soon it made sense and really I was ready.

Over the past few months I’ve only had a few instances where I started to feel anxious.  The doc gave me something I could take if I ever had an attack that I didn’t feel I could control.  I think I’ve done a really good job of trying not to take anything.  For the most part I do pretty well at getting myself through them.  Today was not one of those days.  As I was sitting at work this afternoon I started to feel my chest tighten up.  I could feel my heart beating and I felt as though I couldn’t breathe, like a weigh on my chest.  It was nothing too bad but I just couldn’t shake it.

I’m not really sure what brought it on.  It could have been the Zyrtec I took at lunch.  I haven’t taken any in a while and the psedu stuff can get me sometimes.  Needless to say that after feeling like this for a few hours I had to come home and take something.  Now I’m just sitting on the couch listening to music waiting for things to get back to normal.

~k